Supporting Toilet Training
Toilet training is a natural part of development, not a race or a test. Every child learns this skill at their own pace, depending on physical readiness, emotional confidence, and communication skills. How do we know when they’re ready? Truly, that depends on many cultural norms, traditions, and daily routines. Worldwide, families begin to work on these skills anywhere from 4 months old to 4 years old. It’s true!
If you choose to start right away - that’s great! Watch for cues such as fussiness, movement such as wiggling side to side or pushing, grunts, and facial expression changes. You’ll get to know your little one’s signs as you move along.
If you’re waiting until toddlerhood and beyond, you will also want to watch for signs of readiness.
Readiness cues include:
● Imitates your behavior and bathroom habits, such as following you to the bathroom
● Communicates by gesture, sign language, picture, or proximity to use the bathroom or a toilet
● Staying dry for longer periods
● Showing awareness of wet or dirty diapers
● Expressing interest in the toilet or wearing underwear
When caregivers approach toilet learning with patience, positivity, and consistency, they help children develop confidence, body awareness, and independence. Pressuring or rushing often leads to resistance, while calm, supportive routines encourage success and self-trust.
Ways to Support Toilet Training
● Watch for readiness cues
○ interest in the toilet, staying dry, or noticing bodily sensations
● Model and normalize
○ Let your child see others using the toilet or talk about what happens, read books, watch Daniel Tiger learn to use the potty, and sing songs
● Use positive, encouraging language
○ “You’re learning something new!” instead of focusing on accidents
● Create consistent potty times by building them into your daily routines
● Dress your child in accessible clothing so they can be independent
● Offer choices such as, “Would you like to use your potty chair or the big toilet?”
● Stay neutral about accidents, or what I prefer to call them ‘misses’
○ Respond calmly neutral while you help your child clean up
● Celebrate effort, not just results
○ You may respond with, “You listened to your body!”
● Encourage independence
○ Let your child flush, wash their hands, and take pride in helping
● Be patient with regressions
○ They are expected. Changes, stress, or illness can temporarily set things back
● Stay consistent
○ Calm repetition builds confidence and long-term success
Toilet learning is more about connection than control. When caregivers provide warmth, predictability, and support, children feel capable and proud of their growing independence. Celebrate progress! Every small step is a big leap toward confidence and self-trust.
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